I sit at my desk, relaxed, for the first time in weeks.
Maybe you didn't notice but I haven't posted in a bit. I had to step back and evaluate some things. I needed some space, even from this blog. The result, it is Tuesday morning and I'm sipping on Stay Calm tea with a touch of honey. Stay Calm is a combination of Lemongrass leaf, Peppermint leaf and Gingko biloba. The aroma is strong, therapeutic, and the flavor is minty. I love it. This is my mantra for the week, "just Stay Calm."
With tea cup in hand, I sit full of anticipation, clear headed and ready for the next chapter of my life. I am turning the page, very aware, this is a life changing moment. Hence, a few drastic changes and resets are in order.
As I enjoy this solitary moment of contemplation over a good cup of tea, serenity fills my cup and my thoughts become translucent. They allow me to see what has settled at the bottom that needs to be stirred up and infused with the life giving refreshment of health and prosperity. With each sip I imagine my life thriving with joy, laughter and the expectancy of something great. I see structure, organization, health, relationship with God, learning to love well and growing closer to my adult children, in the midst of their adventurous lives. I visualize the next phase of my life, the next phase of, "the best is yet to come."
Hebrews 13:5-6 MSG says, "Don't be obsessed with getting more material things. Be relaxed with what you have. Since God assures us "I'll never let you down, never walk off and leave you." we can boldly quote, "God is there, ready to help; I'm fearless no matter what. Who or what can get to me?"
It is this scripture that inspired me to do something radical, something extraordinary, something courageous. I had to be fearless, no matter what. In the midst of declaring, "I am fearless", I had anxiety, I cried, I felt nauseous and I was moody. What, you ask, can cause such a ruckus of turmoil in the life of a tea drinking peace loving woman?
COVID Cleaning, Round 1.
If you have been anywhere near Goodwill lately you have seen these radicals. Cars, SUV's Trucks full of soon to be treasures unearthed out of another persons junk. On more than one occasion, as I was walking out of the donation center, someone would be walking in and I would think, "How could you get rid of that?", "Ooooh, that is so pretty, I want that!". The draw to, "collect" would woo me. Do I need it, "no". Do I want it, "yes".
I purged clothing that didn't fit. Anything I didn't use in over a year, gone. Every book that didn't spark joy, donated. I packed everything else, emptied my living space, cleaned and waxed my floor. Then I put what was left, back in, one box at a time. Round 1 complete.
The result surprised me. I felt uncluttered, fresh, intentional. The unnecessary clutter, hiding out of sight, the things not being used, were weighing me down, keeping me bound, and I didn't even know it. I learned that things hidden and shoved in corners collect dust and aren't missed. I learned that once I let go of these things, I felt free, I felt fresh and each breath became a little less tense.
I sat, examining my new clean space and began to examine what I was storing in my heart, in my soul, my mind. I took a personal inventory to examine my heart as the Word says in Proverbs 20:27 NKJV "The spirit of a man is the lamp of the Lord, Searching all the inner depths of his heart."
To get there, I had to clear my physical space. I had to see in the natural what God wanted me to see in the spiritual. Create in me a clean heart oh God. Create in me a longing to be un-clogged, un-cluttered, debris free. Create in me a clean heart and a clear head so the clutter of this world does not hinder me from hearing your still small voice of direction and love. Create in me a clean heart to get my focus off myself and onto others. Create in me a clean heart to say no to sin and yes to You. Create in me a clean heart.
As I live my mantra to stay calm, I am aware it is the Word that releases the peace to do so. My cry to God to create in me a clean heart is answered with one word of correction, one tap on the shoulder when my sassy attitude comes to the surface to take its place on the shelf of my heart, collecting dust, until I dust it off to be sassy again. I know I can remain fearless, I know I can remain calm because I know God isn't finished with me yet, so I rest, with my tea and repeat, "just stay calm."